What to do when you do not have confidence in yourself

When you do not have confidence in yourself, you have to work on your self-esteem to strengthen it. The insecurities are associated with a low self-esteem, an exaggerated fear of looking bad, of not being accepted, of making a fool of yourself, etc .

If you are an insecure person, probably if you write on a sheet your virtues and your defects, the balance will be decided towards the side of the defects. There is the problem, we are what we think of us.

If you do not think you are valuable your security will not be able to increase. To increase self-confidence, we must look at ourselves from a different perspective, much more positive, loving and realistic.

What is self-confidence?

Self-confidence is a healthy way to communicate. It is the ability to defend oneself honestly and respectfully. Every day, we face situations in which having confidence and security in us can be of great help; for example, by inviting someone to an appointment, by approaching a teacher to ask a question, or to attend an interview for college or a job.

Not everyone has confidence in themselves naturally. Some people communicate too passively. Other people have an overly aggressive style. A safe style is the ideal balance between these two extremes.

Being safe means the following:

  • You can express an opinion or say how you feel.
  • You can ask for what you want or need.
  • You can express your disagreement in a respectful way and can make suggestions or make your ideas known.

How to gain more confidence in yourself

  • Look for models of people who are sure of themselves; neither too passive nor too aggressive. See if you can imitate their best qualities.


  • Look at what things you feel most secure. People behave differently depending on the situation. Many people find it easy to be safe in certain situations (such as being with friends) but more complicated in others (such as being with teachers or with people they just know). In more complicated situations, try to think: “What would you say to my closest friends?”