For those who doubt and for those who (unnecessarily but understandably) wonder if their life makes sense:
Do not confuse “finding my inner calling” with “becoming rich and famous”
What we fail to see is that those who planted the idea into our brains that “following one’s passion” is the non-plus-ultra, tend to be those who in one way or another have been tremendously successful in doing so. Would we be equally thrilled by that message, if it was communicated by the 95% who fail?.
There is a curious side-taste to the fact that many of these “fiery passion-followers” are both highly extraverted and gifted self-marketers.
Understand your reward:
There is nothing bad or unusual to this. People have needs. After all we all wanna feel safe, loved and important. However, if you build your life on an unmet need, how will you get your energy and inspiration when times are rough, when you have to pivot or borrow money from your parents? What will happen to you when you are “actually” living your dream? Will you really get the fulfillment you hoped for from being rich, loved or recognized? Or will you just come up with another “thingy” you don’t yet possess and you need to go for next? Even worse: Suppose you found your inner calling, you feel fulfilled – and now what? Will you be happier, if you have put a plaster on your wounds, but you don’t have an aim anymore?
Understand the voices in your head and listen to the silence beneath
Fear, anger, grief, the need to be loved and the need to feel safe, the exhilaration that comes from being successful can be very loud voices in your head. The challenge: Your inner calling tends to be small and subtle. You gotta master your loud voices to be able to listen to the silence beneath.
What makes me so passionate about refusing to give these things to myself?
Chances are: You are not “not lovable”. You are not “unimportant” by nature, but it is a certain belief about yourself that pulls you down. This sounds “bad”, yet: Every limiting belief has a protective purpose. The purpose of being “not lovable” might be that you never wanted to take a risk of being disappointed by another human (“I am not lovable, hence I will never let friends/a relationship touch me anyways, hence I can never EVER be disappointed.”). The purpose of being “not important” might have been that you never desired to take over responsibility (“I can’t f****** influence it anways!”).
Think about what protection you would be giving up if you switched your belief into the opposite, from “I am not lovable” to “I am totally, utterly, freakin’ lovable”. Then think about how important that protection is versus how much you want to discover your inner calling. You choose! (But don’t tell yourself it is impossible to find it!)
To be fair, this in itself doesn’t make our need to feel loved/safe/important disappear, so don’t forget this second question:
What would it look like if I gave that thing that I really want to myself
In other words: What would it look like if I started loving myself like I want others to love me? What would it look like if I started to think of myself as worthy