Simple steps to resolve a conflict

Although the fundamental point to resolve any type of conflict is to listen and validate the opinion of the couple, we can put into practice certain steps to reach it and achieve not only better communication but a quick resolution of the conflict:

  • Ask yourself if you are looking to prove that you are right, or resolve the conflict
  • Listen carefully to your partner
  • Respect your shifts and speak when your partner has finished
  • Ask him what you do not understand about his foundations (thus showing interest in his plans)
  • Always explain your intentions with clear justifications and without attacking
  • Do not raise your tone of voice; they can both speak more calmly
  • Empathize with your partner to understand their point of view
  • Write a letter explaining your position and approving theirs (it worked for me in moments where emotions would not let me express myself orally)

The discussions in some couples end up being many times a struggle to see who was right.

Sometimes we can ask ourselves if what we want to obtain from a discussion is to resolve the conflict that we are proposing, or simply to be successful bearing the flag of reason. The latter happens because it is difficult for us to accept the opinion of the other and to recognize that each one of us can have our own arguments, from an individual perspective.

Validate the opinion of the other

The simplest way to resolve a couple conflict is to accept the position of the other, validate their arguments and recognize that even if they do not agree with what each one proposes, both may have their reasons to defend their position.

Leaving pride aside and opening up to active listening, to empathy with the other will be fundamental steps for the growth and strengthening of the couple.

This exercise will connect them emotionally to feel more willing to resolve any type of conflict and build a bridge between them.