Beauty is subjective and whoever is attractive to some may be indifferent to others.
We have all been attracted to someone who, without being particularly handsome, had charisma, was interesting, funny or simply made us feel tickled in the stomach, without knowing why. But everything has an explanation, surely the above met one or several of these four components of sexual attractiveness.
The concept of “personal image” refers to our ability to artificially improve our physical attractiveness. It includes all the things one can do to improve its overall appearance: grooming, makeup, hairstyle, style of dress … Perhaps, it is not as important as the previous two points – “although the monkey dresses in silk, mona stays” – but it has a lot of weight in the final computation because, in part, it also defines our personality. There are women who would never go out with a man who wears flip-flops and, as handsome as that one is, he’s not going to change his mind.
There is little that can be done to improve this aspect of attractiveness and, however much we insist on the contrary, it deteriorates over time. The static attraction is the unalterable a priori part of our beauty: the shape of our face, our complexion, the silhouette of our body …
Static attractiveness can be modified: we can have an accident, age or go through the operating room. We can also try to lose weight, but even if we achieve a small improvement, losing a few kilos will not change our face. Luckily, static attractiveness is not the only thing that makes a person beautiful, and is not even the most important.
There are people who are not especially beautiful but have “something” that makes them attractive. That “something”, be it the way of walking, laughing or gesturing, is what is known as dynamic attractiveness and serves to express our emotions and show our personality to the world. It is, in short, the charisma of each person, as the RAE well defines, the “special capacity of some people to attract or fascinate”.
Body language and spoken language are essential to build our charism: for this reason, fun people tend to be so successful. What makes a person funny is not their physical attractiveness, it is their way of speaking and their gestures.
The saying goes that “rubbing makes love”, and there’s no lack of reason. The situation that surrounds us is very important and, although at first we are not attracted to a person, time can make us end up liking us. If someone is kind to us, and gives us their affection, we tend to create a reciprocal bond, which in many cases becomes love.
In a similar way, the experiences we experience with another person can increase the attractiveness of this one. When we enjoy our partner’s satisfying experiences, their attractiveness increases, just as it diminishes if our coexistence is routine. And when we start dating a person, if we experience something exciting we can attribute part of the excitement to the other person and feel more attracted to him or her, even if it really has nothing to do with what happened.