Learning how to cope with being teased or insulted can help you get a better handle on these unfortunate social situations. Assessing the situation, responding appropriately, and seeking help when necessary will all help you overcome being teased or insulted.
There is no way to prevent people from speaking!Even if you prevent them from speaking, is there a way to prevent them from thinking? There are so many
people, so many mouths.So what does one do?
You can have a very little control on the things happening in the world but you can observe the effect it has on the mind.Because your suffering lies not outside,but in your mind.You don’t suffer somewhere else. So if you suffer in the mind then let the action be on the mind itself. That is what needs to be taken care of.
Why are you so obsessed with what others are saying?
Anything that happens outside we let it affect us. Waves come and sweep us of our feet and we have no control, we have no self-mastery.
Our mind is not ours. Anybody can come and dominate it.
The fear of public speaking is considered as big a phobia as that of being caught in a burning room. Why?
You are deeply afraid of whether or not others would accept you or your actions.You believe them when they call you wonderful so you woud also have to believe them when they call you stupid.So people are afraid to come and speak.
All your sense of what you are is coming from others. I come to you and tell you that you are wonderful and you start believing that you are wonderful.
Why must I depend on somebody else’s opinion about me?
I must have my own eyes to see myself.
You know we all feel nice and we find it perfectly normal when somebody says a good thing about us. If you have given somebody the right to make you feel good then you have simultaneously given him the right to make you feel bad. When you
have given the right to somebody to come and appreciate you then you have also given him the right to insult you.
For instance,in the morning someone comes to you and tells you that you are gorgeous and you feel good and in the evening he comes to you and says that you are looking devastated and you will feel bad. These two events are interlinked.
You won’t have felt bad, had you not felt good in the morning. If I feel happy when
you clap for me then I have to equally feel bad when you don’t clap for me. That is what is meant by this: ego thrives on both appreciation and criticism.
Ego is essentially my sense of the self coming from others. We all have a few things to tell about ourselves but have we really discovered them by ourselves.
To be bothered at all with whether you are appreciating me or criticizing me; both are ego.
Here is what you do:
I will hear what you are saying, I will take it as an information but I will not let it become my self-image. I will take it as my feedback, that’s alright. You have
something to say about me, I will take it,as a feedback.
Take care of the mind, not the people, because they cannot be taken care of.
Realize that by allowing others to affect you, you are becoming their slave. Realize that a free mind is one which has the power to look at itself. That is the ultimate freedom. The free mind does not get blindly persuaded by external inputs. It is its own master.